Gek-o, gek-o, tok tok tok tok
“Quick, go get it!”
I throw open the balcony door as loudly as possible and start banging on the ceiling with a broom handle.
Gek-o, gek-o, tok tok tok
“It’s not working!”
Our days and nights are plagued by a horrible and unseen beast.
At first I thought it might be a bird because there’s a nest in the potted tree on the balcony, but the sound is coming from above.
A frog or toad of some sort? Maybe.
Then the maid said she saw it, blue-gray with red spots, hiding in a corner of the roof of our balcony.
She told me it was called a tokex, which Google translate helpfully told me is Indonesian for tokex.
A little more digging and we figured it out: a tokay gecko, one of the largest geckos in the world.
LOOK AT ITS MENACING FACE!
Here are some disturbing facts about our unwanted roommate:
- It can grow to up to 20 disgusting inches long
- They have a creepy semi-prehensile tail
- They have a beastly “third eye” on top of their head that can sense light
- If you look into their ear you can see directly through their abominable head (I did not make this up)
- They have a monstrous fold of skin which prevents them from casting a shadow (also not made up)
- They have a vicious and painful bite
- American soldiers in Vietnam nicknamed it the “fuck you lizard” for obvious reasons
And of course there is its famously loud call.
Fuck you lizard, indeed.